How to be a fundraiser with super human resilience

Tips & tricks for fundraisers
Written By Charity Link

There are tons of qualities a fundraiser needs if they’re going to be any good, but if there was just one thing that stands out as a front runner it would have to be resilience.

At no other time in your life will you be told no quite so much as if you’re a professional fundraisers. Mentally this can become pretty taxing so it’s not surprising that most people can’t handle it.

But when you find the type of person who can somehow let those rejections simply roll of their back like a water off the proverbial duck, it really is quite remarkable. Almost as if they’re able to just delete the experience instantly like it never happened and reset to ask someone new to listen.

Fundraising can be a challenging career that requires not only skills, knowledge, and experience but also resilience..

In this blog we take a look at what it takes to be resilient and the many techniques you can use to become more resilient as you fundraise.

What is resilience?

Simply put, resilience is to be able to deal with obstacles, setbacks and negativity without it impacting on your state of mind or ability to keep pushing forward.

Fundraisers need superhuman resilience to succeed in their roles and achieve their goals

While some people would assume resilience is something that’s a part of your personality and you’re just born with it, clinical psychologists and researchers disagree!

Resilience is made up of a number of different decisions that a person makes about how they’ll approach life.

Although previous experience dictates our beliefs, ultimately resilience is something you can build.

Charity fundraisers often have high attrition rates which means they typically leave the role sooner than in other professions (see why here). We know that with better resilience, fundraisers will remain in the job for longer and see the results they initially set out to achieve.

So let’s take a look at how to build resilience from a number of perspectives (and you’ll notice a few repeats which must mean they’re worth a try right?!)

Resilience advice from a psychologist

An article on the Ted talks website by clinical psychologist Meg Jay, shares two decades worth of wisdom, gathered from studying adult development and listening to stories from clients.

What she does particularly stress about the lessons she’s learned about resilience is that:

“Resilience is not a trait. It’s not something you’re born with. It’s not something you just have”

This is certainly encouraging for those of us who want to become more resilient.

So what does Meg say we could do to improve our resilience?

Your struggle is real and valid

Don’t belittle your experiences – they are your truth and they are very real to you. Comparison is unhelpful – what some people can cope with well, others can not – we all have our strengths and all deal with things differently

Acknowledge that you already ARE resilient

You have survived all your experiences – remember that! Everyone has tough times and it’s good to look back in your life and see that you came through it and are stronger and wiser as a result.

Play to your strengths

Be true to who you are and never try to be someone you’re not. You have your own talents and you should focus on using them. So if you know you can be charming – use that. If you know you’re hard working and have a great work ethic – use that! If you’re empathetic – use that. Using your talents, whatever they are is how you can be your best in every situation.

You’re not an island

It’s easy to think we should cope on our own when we’re struggling, but the most resilient people know when to ask for help. We aren’t meant to handle everything by ourselves and sometimes just a chat about how you’re feeling is a way to get stronger.

Don’t overshare

We’re probably all guilty of sharing something when we shouldn’t have. Going around and telling everyone about your complaints and issues isn’t helpful, not only because it creates bad culture in the workplace, it’s likely you’ll end up telling someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart. Those looking at the problem through distorted eyes are likely to give bad advice or perpetuate your negative feelings.

Share with people who understand you and can support you.

Take mental breaks

However you like to relax, make sure you grab those breaks and completely detach from your mental load.

Books, garden, yoga, tennis, walks, friends – whatever helps you unwind, do that. Resilient people always know to take mental breaks and come back refreshed.

Add a bit of self love

Be your own best friend and talk to yourself the same way you’d talk to your real best friend. You’re doing a great job and you deserve to feel good about how adversity has made you stronger and that makes you more prepared to deal with things that others aren’t.

Don’t be an ostrich

Don’t bury your head and hide from resolving the problem. Rather ask yourself ‘what can I do about this?’ Perhaps the answer is not much, in which case know you’re doing the best you can.

Resilience advice from an extreme runner

We also took a look at someone else with an incredible amount of resilience and self motivation. In March this year, Aaron Robinson had run 75 marathons in 75 days. Yes you did read that right.

Rising every morning at an eye-watering 3am, Aaron spends 5 hours running the equivalent distance of a marathon and then goes off to work.

If there’s something Aaron doesn’t know about resilience, we’d like to hear it.

Aaron comprised a list of the 13 things he considers helpful to getting him out of bed every morning (as well as his dogs who sit on him when he doesn’t get up).

On first glance most of these things look obvious, but when we really think about it, you can see how by combining these tips you can create a firehouse of motivation and discipline (not to mention incredible stamina and resilience).

Here’s Aarons list with the same philosophy applied to fundraising jobs:

  • Be inspired by others – They say you’re the average of the 6 people you spend most time with – so choose wisely and make sure you’re surrounded by people who inspire and lift you up

  • Create good habits – Healthy routines and habits are what resilience is based upon, stick to your own good habits and eventually they become a part of your identity

  • Be prepared – Go in knowing your stuff, read up on the latest information, don’t

  • Prioritise sleep – Obvious but vital, good sleep routines are game changing to mental resilience and positivity

  • Eat well – Essential to take good care of your body and eat sensible nutritious food that helps not hinders or gives fake energy spikes

  • Enjoy well-earned rest – Have at least one day a week for rest and recoup – This is where you’ll get a chance to recover and be ready for your next chapter

  • Set a goal, or find a purpose – What’s your reason for fundraising? Dig deep and most find it’s because they want their job to be about more than just earning money

  • Buddy up – having someone to rely on and reach out to when times are tough is really helpful – not only to offload but to get that all important support and motivation when you can’t find it in yourself

  • Don’t go too hard – Short consistent sessions rather than one mammoth attempt will always help you progress faster in the long run

  • Be realistic (you’re not going to be able to get 50 donors a day so aim high but be real)

  • Make it fun – It’s not work doing if you’re not enjoying it! With fundraising if you can present positively with a smile it’s contagious and your potential donor will match your energy – in fact, you might even just make their day brighter as well as your own!

  • Take it step by step – The overall mission can be daunting and discouraging. Don’t look too far ahead – just look at the next step and keep going. Suddenly you’ll look back and realise you’re nearly there

  • Focus on the mental rewards – Imagine what it might look like if you secured or exceeded your targets this week? How does that impact on your life? Or the lives of those benefitting from your cause?

Resilience advice from mental health specialists

We also took a look at the mental health element of resilience.

On Mind’s website, we found an article about managing stress and building resilience and were interested on their take.

Here they point out that for some of us, causes of stress are beyond our control and we therefore shouldn’t beat ourselves up about how well we manage that stress.

Quite rightly, Mind talk about how resilience means different things to different people.

For example, if you’re someone dealing with a mental health problem, or a long term physical health condition, it’s not going to be as easy for you to ‘bounce back’ as it may be for others.

Other external influences can be things like experiencing discrimination, being separated from our support networks, suffering from poverty, being a single parent or carer or lacking safety and protection.

We know that from research, people who don’t have these types of barriers are generally better at developing resilience.

All is not lost though.

According to Mind, we can still help ourselves to become more resilient by adopting a few simple strategies:

  • Ask for help - is also the advice Mind give too. Don’t think you have to cope with things alone and don’t try to be a hero

  • Organising our time – One thing we can all take control of is our own time. If you can identify when you’ve got the most energy, that’s the time you should aim to be most productive. Making lists and prioritising what needs doing first is a great step towards building confidence about your task load. Confidence helps resilience.

  • Set achievable targets – Aim to avoid overwhelm and just do small things one at a time. Don’t let your ‘to-do’ list be another source of stress and become discouraged and frustrated. By working for smaller goals, we can get the satisfaction of ticking things off the list and feel more in control

  • Variety is the spice of life! - Don’t get trapped in boredom and complacency as this impacts mood and attitude. Try to vary the way you do every day things – have different things to eat for lunch, walk a different route and mix up boring tasks with ones you find more interesting.

  • Don’t do too much at once - Taking on too much means more stress so be realistic about what you can do and be crystal clear with others about what you’re able to take on. Saying no to things is okay!

  • Take breaks - It’s easy to skip breaks when you’re pushed for time but try to see them as a way to actually enhance your productivity overall. Breaks help to reduce stress, which means you’ll perform better and be more resilient when things go wrong

 

Resilience advice from a journalist and public speaker

Public speaker, author and journalist Malcolm Gladwell offers ways to improve your resilience and confidence in his book ‘Outliers: The story of success’ and comes up with three gems which fundraisers can easily adapt.

Practice makes perfect

Gladwell rightly points out that the most successful people in the world (regardless of what industry) have practiced for literally thousands of hours and anyone that wants to master a task should do the same.

He goes on to say that by practicing with partners, you’re enhancing your chance for success.

From the fundraisers perspective, identify which part of the job you find particularly challenging and make it your objective to practice until it’s second nature.

So if it’s ‘the ask’ that’s really tricky, fundraisers should practice with a number of safe people – colleagues, team managers, family and friends until they’re absolutely comfortable with their tone and the way they’re wording it.

Fundraisers could record it on their phone and watch it back, as well as ask for feedback on how to improve.

Get immune to ‘no’

One of the things that we know as a fundraising agency is the average face to face fundraiser needs to have 80 conversations to get one regular donor.

That’s an average of 79 nos for one yes!

So it makes sense to get very comfortable with being told ‘no’.

We always advise our fundraisers to go back to our performance framework, where they can ensure they’re doing everything according to their training. If they stick to that, we know the numbers will come and the odds will eventually work in their favour.

Ultimately, remember that rejection is a sign of good fundraising – because it shows you’re willing to put yourself out there and ask!

Get help when you need it

And it’s yet another vote for asking for help.

It’s normal to be proud, but don’t let that pride get in the way of progress! Admit when you don’t know something and go and ask someone that does!

The irony perhaps is that fundraiser jobs purpose is literally about helping others - so it makes no sense not to ask for help if it’s needed!  

Being resilient doesn’t mean doing everything solo – it means looking for any way that helps you stand up after a knock. Learning new ways of tackling things means asking others who’ve already walked that path so never hesitate if you need a helping hand.

Resilience advice from scientific research

The below is a collection of resilience practices that have been published by the Greater Good Science Center

Each suggestion has proven research to back up its effectiveness and makes an awesome list of things to try if you’re looking to build resilience.

Write your narrative  

When something goes wrong, it’s difficult for some of us to let it go. Rumination where we go over and over an event in our heads is damaging in more ways than one.

We tell the story from our own angle, manifesting negative feelings until we embed a belief as fact,.

To alleviate this type of thought process, scientific research says expressive writing really helps. A study in 1988 saw participants who took part in expressive writing were actually more healthy 6 weeks later and felt happier up to 3 months later compared to people who didn’t journal their feelings.

In 2014, people who journalled daily for 3 weeks were more engaged with life, feeling less pessimistic overall, even reducing depressive tendencies.

Research suggests that by writing down our story, we’re confronting our own feelings and giving them structure which can help give a sense of control of a situation and gain new perspective.

To do this yourself, simply write down how you feel about something that’s bothering you for 20 minutes, putting down your deepest thoughts.

Try to contemplate the positives of a situation. So for a fundraising example you may have had a really bad day where members of the public were unkind or dismissive, but you might reflect that actually you were still able to continue trying to do your best, or you learned that by taking a walk during your break really helped you feel better.  

Confronting fear

All of us suffer with fear of certain things, whether it’s heights or enclosed spaces or perhaps it’s public speaking.

Research says we should look at dealing with the emotion rather than the logic here. By exposing yourself to the thing that’s scary in small bite sized pieces, it’s possible to gradually overcome that fear.

This ‘exposure therapy’ is basically re-teaching the brain and body that something is safe and is a researched and proven method.

In 2010, candidates were electrically shocked whenever they looked at a blue square, essentially cultivating a fear of the square.

After a time, the blue square was shown to the same candidates but without the electric shock until their Pavlovian fear (measured by heart rate and perspiration) reduced and eventually disappeared.

Be compassionate to yourself

This is basically about recognising that, whatever your fear or issue, you’re not the only one going through it and you’re not abnormal in your struggle.

Basically being kind to ourselves without judgement is a great way of building resilience against stress or negativity – when we show ourselves compassion we’re paving the way towards a happier existence.

A two month experiment saw those participating in a mindful self-compassion program reported increased life satisfaction with lower depression, anxiety and stress compared to those that did not take part. Benefits lasted up to year.

Fundraisers (and anyone!) can practice self-compassion by remembering two simple things:

  • Be mindful about the way you’re feeling. Simply acknowledge moments of suffering and remember that we all struggle and you’re not along

  • Be kind to yourself. Essentially treat yourself how you would treat a friend. Talk to yourself in that way and if you realise you’re being harsh to yourself ask why. You are not solely responsible for your shortcomings and you deserve understanding and acceptance

Practice meditation (there are lots of ways you can do this!)

Painful thoughts about past experience tend to haunt us and create anxiety around the present. By bringing attention to the present moment in meditation, we’re able to discover things are actually not so bad.

Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) studies clearly show that through meditation, we can enjoy a wide range of health and psychological benefits.

A common mediation is to simply sit or lay still and quietly with eyes close and scan the entire body from head to toe, focusing on each part and noticing how it feels and seeing if there’s tension to let go of.

Strong emotions tend to sit in certain parts of our bodies like our necks, shoulders, chest and stomach. Through meditation we can notice where we hold tension and let it go.

Another easy meditation you can do anywhere is mindful breathing.

This is about bringing attention to the physicality of your breath – following the journey from nostrils to belly and back again. You can use this whenever you wish; a few breaths when you feel stressed, or for 15 minutes if you have time alone to sit.

Finally, you could try mindful eating. Try really noticing your food bite by bite – smell it first, really taste each mouthful. Notice how it feels in your mouth. Absorb sensations as you swallow and take time to enjoy the whole experience. You may not only find that food becomes a lot more enjoyable but you start developing much healthier attitudes towards your diet too!

Through this meditation practice, we know that we can alleviate stress and look at things in more perspective, helping to build resilience.

In one study, researchers found that time spent practicing the Body Scan was linked to greater well-being and less reactivity to stress. Being more aware of our bodies—and the emotions they are feeling—might also help us make healthier choices, trusting our gut when something feels wrong or avoiding commitments that will lead to exhaustion.

Learn to forgive

It’s easy to bear grudges when you’ve been wronged, but this isn’t helpful for resilience. Resentment and ill will is exhausting and means you’re not using that energy to grow and progress.

Forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook or even making friends again. It’s about knowing the benefits to you.


There are always lessons we can learn from a situation and the focus should be on that rather than constantly going over what someone else has done wrong to you.

Letting Go of Anger through Compassion is an exercise you could try.

This is where you spend a small amount of time exercising compassion for your wrong doer. They too are just human and they too make mistakes.

Research shows that this exercise leads people towards more empathy, positivity and feelings of being in control.

By comparison, those who held on to negative feelings or repressed them found that those feelings had a less favourable impact on their own being.

So not only were you punished by the ‘crime’ of the other, you continue to punish yourself by not being able to forgive.

Resilience advice from a fundraising agency

Embrace Failure

As a fundraiser, you will face rejection and failure. This is normal and expected. Instead of beating yourself up about it, embrace failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. Analyse your mistakes, figure out what you could have done better, and use that knowledge to improve your strategy. Failure is not a sign of weakness, but rather a chance to improve and become better.

Stay Positive

Maintaining a positive attitude can help you stay motivated and focused on your goals. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem, and use that positivity to keep pushing forward.

Positive thinking can help you see the opportunities in every situation, even in the face of adversity. It can also help you maintain good relationships with your donors, colleagues, and volunteers.

Build a Support Network

Having a strong support network can help you bounce back from setbacks and keep you motivated during tough times.

This can include colleagues, friends, family, or even a mentor who understands the challenges of fundraising. Your support network can provide you with emotional support, advice, and guidance. They can also help you find new opportunities and connections in the fundraising community.

Take Care of Yourself

Fundraising can be a demanding job, both physically and mentally. Make sure you take care of yourself by getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly. Taking care of your physical health can help you stay mentally sharp and better equipped to handle the challenges of the job. Don't neglect your personal life, hobbies, and interests, as they can help you recharge and find balance in your life.

Set Realistic Goals

Setting realistic goals can help you stay motivated and focused on what you want to achieve. Make sure your goals are specific, measurable, and achievable within a reasonable timeframe. Celebrate your progress along the way and adjust your goals as needed. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't achieve your goals right away. Remember that every step towards your goal is progress.

Building up your resilience as a fundraiser takes time and effort, but it’s worth it!

By embracing failure, staying positive, building a support network, taking care of yourself, and setting realistic goals, you can become a fundraising superhero with superhuman resilience.

Through our award winning training academy and ongoing mentoring, Charity Link offers unrivalled support for fundraisers to help them through the toughest times.

Read more about our training here

Remember that resilience is not just about bouncing back from setbacks, but also about learning, growing, and becoming a better fundraiser every day. Using the fundraising tips above, you can build up your resilience and achieve your fundraising goals.

Do you do any of the suggestions above? Comment below and tell us how it works for you!

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